Life in Lockdown

It has been a week since I turned 36. I am writing this during he Easter break, as the nation begins week 4 of lockdown.

Lockdown is something new, but a phrase that has now firmly entered the nation’s vocabulary and will certainly never be forgotten. 

I have not written a blog in over a year. Whilst I don’t class myself as a “blogger” as such this is something I was to keep up. To document my journey and the moments that matter. But, I can only put my slack post updates down to having a busy job and all of my free time now spent with my boy. The last thing I want to do at the weekend is stare at a screen. However if anything is to make me move my ass and get writing what is in my head is is what is happening right now on planet earth.

Like most other countries on earth, we are all in quarantine, because of the global pandemic caused by COVID-19. Shops and high streets are deserted. We are not allowed to be witching two metres of another human being. Only allowed out to show for food, medicine and a walk once a day.

Shops have placed plastic screen up in front of the checkout, people are made to queue two metres apart and trollies are sanitised at the entrance.

We watched as  the crisis unfolded in China, where it all began (someone ate an infected bat, apparently), ignorant to the impending danger that loomed ahead. After all nothing has happened like this in recent history.

The memes and statistics were shared- this is just like the flu they said. But it isn’t, it is worse.  Affecting the elderly and vulnerable first 

 Italy went into lockdown before us. We saw what happened. People in their homes unable to leave and still our Government held off. This, I am sure was at the guidance of senior medial professionals. Prevent over- burdening the NHS when it is already under pressure from seasonal flu. The thing is.. holding off has meant the disease spread. Quickly.

The ubiquitous presence of social media means that we are constantly being reminded of the rising death toll. At the time of writing it is over 10k, sadly it looks like it is not slowing yet and even when it does, it is likely we will enter into some sort of economic depressions and it will be a while before normal contact resumes. The sort of contact you take for granted, hugging family and friends and standing close to someone at a crowded bar seems like a distant memory. But it will get back to normal… at some point. When no body knows. We have nothing to latch onto, no shining light and the end of this, yet.

This crisis has meant the NHS are literally putting their own lives at risk to protect the sick. They are the real heroes.

Every Thursday the nation joint to gather to clap from their doors to say thank you. I am sure this is appreciated, but what the NHS probably really want is for people to just stay the fuck inside and safe. But people are selfish and this has, for a minority, shown the worst of their characters.  Police has broken up public gatherings, mass BBQs and 18th birthday parties. 

Oscar is 19 months old. A ray of sunshine in all of this. He is sporting a beautifully golden chin length grown out hair cut, and his rosy chubby cheeks and always smiling. He copies all our words (we have to be careful what we say now) and an of course and obvious plus side to all of this is we have more time with Oscar now I am working from home and Derek is off work as he is self employed. 

A few thoughts: Trying to occupy a toddler for days on end  in one place is erm interesting…

I made banana  things I saw in a toddler Facebook group. they turned out a bit shit. Even the pigeons in the garden didn’t like them and my milk bottle Elmer’s legs are too skinny. We did make paint water fun and watch him try to dance and that was just perfect. 

Our days should be captioned “trial and error.”

I have renewed respect to nursery staff and stay at home mums and dads..

So we’re not bothering too much about ticking lots of things off, like everyone else we’re just taking each day as it comes. 

His favourite phrases are “get there” as he tells one of us to sit down or that he wants to sit down. In fact he has toddled up to me now as I write this from my borrowed Mac (working from home). He has also started referring to himself in the third person. “Oshars socks”. Arghhh you MELT ME kid.

Bloody love him, so much I could just eat him. My love for him consumes me. I am that person who stares at him as he sleeps, because I don’t want to miss a thing. I hope it will make me absorb everything about him so it is embedded in my heart for ever. “Tortie” and “Gee” are his stuffed friends right now, bless him. He just wants to play and I am sad he cannot go and place with with his nursery friends. He is so gorgeously social and has no problem with other people. I hope this doesn’t change that.

In other news, Derek is trying out a new look. Grown out beard and hair. Like an extra from a budget end of days, zombie apocalypse film he goes out to Aldi to get food. Ok, so that part of slightly exaggerated, but you have to laugh, at the absurdity of it all. If you didn’t you would cry. This is real life right now. 

So, back to turning 36. Usually we would have been out for a meal, baby-sitter in hand (thanks mum) and enjoying a glass of wine at some new steak house in Leeds centre, perhaps. 

This year, (and trust me I am not complaining, I know how lucky we are to have our health, family and to still be employed at this time of crisis)  Derek and I managed a Dominoes and some beers. (Dominoes leave the pizza In a double box on your doorstep and wait in the car til you come and get it.)

Missing friends and family like crazy. 

Trying to remember not ‘stuck at home’, we’re grateful to be at safe at home